Father And Son And Results

A father passing by his son's bedroom

was astonished to see the bed nicely

made up and everything neat and tidy.

Then he saw an envelope propped up

prominently on the pillow. It was

addressed, "Dad". With the worst

premonition, he opened the envelope

and read the letter with trembling

hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow

that I'm writing you. I had to elope

with my new girlfriend because I

wanted to avoid a scene with you and

Mom.

I've been finding real passion with

Joan and she is so nice. I knew you

would not approve of her because of

all her piercings, tattoos, her tight

motorcycle clothes and because she is

so much older than I am but it's not

only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant.

Joan says that we are going to be very

happy. She owns a trailer in the woods

and has a stack of firewood, enough

for the whole winter. We share a dream

of having many more children.

Joan has opened my eyes to the fact

that marijuana doesn't really hurt

anyone. We'll be growing it and

trading it with the other people in

the commune for all the cocaine and

ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that

science will find a cure for AIDS so

Joan can get better; she sure deserves

it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now

and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to

visit so you can get to know your

grandchildren.

Your son, Chad

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true.

I'm over at Tommy's house. I just

wanted to remind you that there are

worse things in life than the report

card that's in my desk drawer.

I love you! Call when it is safe for

me to come home!