Father And Son And Results

A father passing by his son's bedroom
was astonished to see the bed nicely
made up and everything neat and tidy.

Then he saw an envelope propped up
prominently on the pillow. It was
addressed, "Dad". With the worst
premonition, he opened the envelope
and read the letter with trembling

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow
that I'm writing you. I had to elope
with my new girlfriend because I
wanted to avoid a scene with you and

I've been finding real passion with
Joan and she is so nice. I knew you
would not approve of her because of
all her piercings, tattoos, her tight
motorcycle clothes and because she is
so much older than I am but it's not
only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant.

Joan says that we are going to be very
happy. She owns a trailer in the woods
and has a stack of firewood, enough
for the whole winter. We share a dream
of having many more children.

Joan has opened my eyes to the fact
that marijuana doesn't really hurt
anyone. We'll be growing it and
trading it with the other people in
the commune for all the cocaine and
ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that
science will find a cure for AIDS so
Joan can get better; she sure deserves

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now
and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to
visit so you can get to know your

Your son, Chad

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true.
I'm over at Tommy's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are
worse things in life than the report
card that's in my desk drawer.

I love you! Call when it is safe for
me to come home!


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